Those of us with any type of illness, whether it be chronic or mental, have felt this before. Even those of us without any illnesses at all have felt this way one time or another. The burden feeling gets worse when you overhear a family member or friend mentioning you, and they make it sound as though you’re an inconvenience to them. Although it may be unintentional on their part, it doesn’t make your feelings hurt any less—particularly if you already feel as though you’re a burden. How do we get past feeling like a hassle to the people around us?
I’m going to tell you how I do it, but let me start with three common ways people usually overcome this feeling.
- Talk it out
Sometimes talking out how you’re feeling with someone you trust helps. Depending on the situation, discussing your feelings with the person who makes you feel that way can make it better. I say depending because sometimes talking things over with that person can make you feel worse. Find someone you trust or seek a therapist to listen. When you go to talk with someone, remember that you’re not inconveniencing them.
- Make something
Having some sort of creative outlet is a good way to bring positivity to your life. It also gives you something to do and may even bring purpose to you if you feel like you don’t have one. Whether it’s coloring in a book, writing a poem, drawing, or doing a craft, making something helps.
- Take time for yourself
If you need to yell, grab a pillow and scream it out. If you’ve been needing to cry for a while but you won’t allow yourself, cry. Exhausted? Get some rest. Take a day or two for yourself. Sometimes just taking a break is enough to clear the mind.
How do I cope with this?
That’s hard because at this very moment I feel like a huge burden. It’s my medical bills causing financial stress on our family, and it’s my chronic illnesses that require expensive doctor’s visits. Not to mention my mental health that, while it’s much better, is reminding me that it’s definitely my fault and I’m a burden to my family.
I’m coping with this feeling lately by listening to music. It’s something that helps me feel better and stops my mental health from getting worse. I’m also writing and talking to friends about how I feel. But is it all helping? A little, yes. Things like medical debt and physical inabilities don’t go away easily, so there’s only so much I can do. If my mental health starts to dip, I’m going to pay my therapist a visit.
I guess I can say that I’m coping with this by carrying on. I’m getting up each day, living, doing one thing that makes me smile, and taking care of myself. Sometimes that’s all you can do.