I had an appointment this afternoon with my rheumatologist, and it was a bittersweet one. Although I got some answers, I left feeling like I’ve hit a wall, and my OCD is creeping in.
I’m attending one of my favorite conferences this week! I’m super excited, but I figured I should make a post with my tips for getting through a convention as a spoonie.
This morning, I spent the last fifteen minutes of my therapy session crying. Then, I came home and my health OCD gave me intrusive thoughts that brought me to tears with worry. This led to an anxiety attack and I had to text my friend with OCD to help calm me down. I managed to stop crying, have a slice of pizza, and carry on–and then I got the idea for this post. You might not like this one, but here’s what to do when the intrusive thoughts bring you to tears, give you an anxiety attack, or both.
Anyone with a chronic illness of any kind attempting to make it through the education system deserves a standing ovation. Anyone with a chronic illness who couldn’t make it or managed to make it deserves a standing ovation. Why? Let’s be real. The education system doesn’t exactly want to play nicely with those of us with chronic illness.
It’s February. For me, this month and the one after it are very tricky. My depression hits during February and March of every year since around my second year in university.
Those of us with any type of illness, whether it be chronic or mental, have felt this before. Even those of us without any illnesses at all have felt this way one time or another. The burden feeling gets worse when you overhear a family member or friend mentioning you, and they make it sound as though you’re an inconvenience to them. Although it may be unintentional on their part, it doesn’t make your feelings hurt any less—particularly if you already feel as though you’re a burden. How do we get past feeling like a hassle to the people around us?
[Contains discussions of mental health and race, mentions of suicidal thoughts, and ableist language]
Those who know me know that I’m vocal about my experiences with mental illness. Most of this blog is littered with articles pertaining to my mental health and my path to getting a better handle on it. I wasn’t always this way.
My memory is strange. I can’t recall a recent conversation, but I can recall lyrics to a song in a movie I watched in first grade (she combed her hair just once a year rissledy rosseldy mow mow mow). Thanks to brain fog, things aren’t much better. Brain fog can be frustrating and annoying. There are several ways I cope with mine, but I find these methods most helpful. Continue reading “How I Deal With Brain Fog”
I dislike ableism. It bothers me how subversive it is, and I seriously dislike how people around you can say things that are ableist and they don’t get how ableist that statement is. It’s awful. What bothers me the most is how insensitive statements over the years can build up and lead to internalized ableism.
Nearly 3 weeks into 2018 and I’m working steadily to achieve my goals. Continue reading “2018: Let’s Continue”